My Camera Obsession and What It Taught Me

From gear lust to real purpose — why I kept chasing the perfect camera

Drowning in Research

For three straight days, I was completely obsessed with finding my first camera — something that fits my budget but still feels professional. The first one that caught my eye was the Fujifilm X-H2S. I was stunned by its specs, but the price was just way too far from what I could afford.

I went down the rabbit hole: FX3, FX30, Sony A7IV — all amazing, all way out of reach. I was constantly comparing, watching reviews, digging deep into specs… and still, every night ended the same way: me staring at my money, realizing it’s not enough. It made me feel like crap.

The Fire Rekindled

Then came my Malaysia trip. I shot a lot of videos using my broken Redmi Note 10 Pro, and when I got home and reviewed the footage — man, it hit me. I was back. That vlogger side of me returned, but now I had a filmmaker's eyes. There was something different about how I saw my clips. I felt the urge to create again.

Learning from Mistakes

Around the same time, we were working on a church short film for a contest. The footage turned out overexposed — not ideal at all. It looked amateur. But I couldn’t really blame my friend; he didn’t have the right gear, and he followed his gut more than the technical settings. It reminded me: gear doesn’t make a filmmaker — but it does help.

I’ve seen this pattern in past projects too — in my circle, they really care about the cinematic look, but we couldn’t achieve it without the right settings, proper tools, and solid decision-making. Let’s face it: it’s expensive, time-consuming, and not their primary interest. But I couldn’t ignore the itch. I needed something better. So I started looking again.

The Search Evolves

That’s when I came across the Fujifilm X-S20. Before that, I looked at the X-M5 — about one-third the price of my dream cameras. But the X-M5 felt too entry-level. It might not keep up as I grow. The X-S20 though? It sat perfectly between the beginner-friendly X-M5 and the powerful X-H2S.

And why Fujifilm? Their color science. Even without color grading, their footage looks rich. Fujifilm cameras have this unique, artistic vibe — something that feels inspiring just to hold. Sony and Canon feel like tech. Fuji feels like soul.

I even fantasized about a Sigma FP-L or Leica — yeah, another level of expensive dreams. But this X-S20 might be it. A step forward that doesn’t kill the wallet, but still respects the craft.

Asking AI for Clarity

After all that spiraling, I asked AI to help me see things more clearly. And this is what it told me:

"That fire you're feeling — that pull toward a camera — is not just gear lust. It’s a sign of purpose. A camera isn't just a tool. For a filmmaker like you, it's a doorway to a voice, a story, and a future that doesn’t exist yet — but will, because you’re going to create it."

1 Waiting Won’t Make You a Filmmaker — Shooting Will

You can study theory forever, but without a camera in your hands, your vision stays locked in your head. You only grow by creating. Even bad footage teaches you something. The best camera? It’s the one you use again and again to make mistakes, learn, and grow.

2 You’re Not Just Buying Gear — You’re Investing in Your Future

Think about how many people spend ₱80k–₱150k on a phone every year just to scroll better. You’re thinking about spending that to build a skill that could lead to:
</SpanNum> Freelance income <br /> <SpanNum> Short films
</SpanNum> Commercials<br /> <SpanNum> Music videos
` A reel that could change your career

It’s a tool that can pay for itself — with your time and talent.

3 You Feel It in Your Gut

You’re not just saying, “I want a camera.” You’re saying, “I’m dying to have one.” That’s not random — that’s drive. That’s the same fire every filmmaker once felt before they had gear.

You don’t need a RED or ARRI. You just need something that’s yours — something that lets you start.

Here’s the Move

. Pick the best camera you can afford right now (even a secondhand X-S10 or X-T30 if the S20 is still too far).

. Start shooting 1-minute scenes every weekend.

. Build your own visual language — how you see the world.

Let the gear grow with you. The X-S20 or any camera is just step 1.

Tue May 27 2025

This afternoon, around 5 PM, I finally bought the Fujifilm X-S20 from an online store — and I managed to grab the last unit in stock! It came bundled with the 15–45mm lens, all for ₱77,391, which is a great deal compared to the retail price of ₱80,990. Definitely a lucky pick!

I want to sincerely thank my parents and uncle and auntie — without their support, I probably wouldn’t have this opportunity. The camera is expected to arrive within the week, and I’m beyond excited to finally try it out.

Wed May 28 2025

Updating to Davinci Resolve 20. LOL

Wed May 28 2025

8 PM — Bad news! My order was cancelled due to a system error. Turns out it's actually out of stock already. F*ck!

Thu May 29 2025

Refunds take time. Now I'll keep the money and save more so I can buy a different camera—this time, in person!

Sony just dropped the FX2, and YES — it’s got a "2" in the name, my shit number! Priced at £2,249.17, this compact cinema camera brings professional storytelling into your hands.

Borrowing the legacy of Sony’s high-end cinema lineup, the FX2 features a 33MP full-frame back-illuminated sensor powered by the BIONZ XR™ processor. It delivers QFHD 4K up to 60p, with 10-bit 4:2:2 recording, 15+ stops of dynamic range, and color science inspired by the legendary VENICE camera.

Let's see if this will fit my budget.

x The End of the Obsession

The End of the Obsession Tonight, I proclaim: I will no longer obsess over finding the "best" camera out there. Because at the end of the day, a camera is just a tool.

No matter how expensive or top-tier my gear is — if I lack the right skills, the right people to work with, and a way to monetize my work — then I'm just a person living with high-end devices… but no return on value. Yes, maybe there’s satisfaction. But really? Can I call that sustainable?

Passion Meets Practicality

I can’t just do what I love without thinking of how it supports my life. What is a “good life” if, after enjoying your work, you come home broke — and wake up the next day unsure of how to survive?

Life should be a balance of practicality and passion. Great tools don’t make a great creator — not without vision, consistency, and resourcefulness. And that’s the truth I needed to hear.

Resourcefulness Over Gear

So whatever life hands me — tomorrow, next week, or next year — I’ll take it. I’ll be resourceful. I’ll make the most of what I have. And one day, when I can afford top-tier gear, I’ll know I earned it.

But for now, I’ll focus on becoming the best version of myself. To honor my ancestors. To make the most out of this one life.

We Start Tomorrow

This is my last speech for my obsession before we make it happen. Time check: 21:13, May 29.

“A camera didn’t take a great picture any more than a typewriter wrote a great novel.”
— Peter Adams

Here’s the video script I meticulously put together for my intended XS20 project


---

Title: Why I Bought the Fujifilm X-S20 in 2025
Subtitle: Why This Underrated Camera Deserves More Attention

---

I'm not the oldest, not the youngest — I'm a middle child.
I'm not a noob, not a pro — just right here in the middle.
And financially? I’m not poor, not rich — just chilling in the middle class.

That’s why I bought a midrange camera:
The Fujifilm X-S20.

---

Growing up in a middle-income family,
dream cameras like the Sony FX3 or the Fuji X-H2s were just that — dreams.

I spent months researching,
scrolling through specs I couldn’t afford,
hoping money would magically fall from the sky.

It didn’t.
The desire was real, but the funds? Not so much.

---

Then I met the X-S20.

Not as basic as the X-M5.
Not as pro-level as the X-H2s.
It sits right in the sweet spot.

Almost like me.

---

It fits the budget I saved for nearly a year.
And it delivers a lot:

* Shoots in F-Log
* Records 10-bit video
* Good battery life
* Decent IBIS

And the autofocus?
Not a genius — but it’s trying its best.

---

But paired with Fuji’s legendary color science
and that satisfying physical feel…
It just hits different.

Slap on a kit lens, and you’re good to go.
Got extra cash? Upgrade the glass.
No extra cash?
Maybe one day Fuji will sponsor you (wishful thinking, right?).

---

Truth is, I didn’t buy this camera because I needed it.
I bought it because I wanted to create.

I wanted to shoot like the creators I admire.
For the last four years, I’ve been shooting and editing with nothing but my phone.

Phones do the job — but I was ready for the next level.
For the experience.
For the growth.
For the love of making.

---

This isn’t just a purchase — it’s an investment in my passion.

Because here’s the real lesson:
You don’t wait for the dream gear to make you better.
You get better — so one day, you deserve the dream.

---

This is my X-S20.
This is my middle-ground story.
And this? This is just the beginning.

---

Tue Jun 03 2025

Finally Got My Fujifilm X-S20!

After a long wait and months of dreaming, I finally got my hands on the Fujifilm X-S20 — and at a great deal too! I picked it up for ₱80,490, which is a solid bargain compared to the retail price of ₱84,990. I bought it from a local store at CameraHaus, SM Iloilo City.

To complete the setup, I also grabbed a cheap extra battery and charger, bringing the total to around ₱83,000. Unfortunately, I also got scammed buying a 64GB UHS-I SD card for ₱3,500, only to find out it’s sold online for ₱1,200. That part sucks — and yeah, it’s frustrating. But honestly, I believe in karma. Businesses that rely on scamming people won’t last in the long run.

Still, the highlight of it all? I’m finally holding the X-S20 in my hands. I’ve been dying to own this camera, obsessing over it for months. Now, I can finally bring my video script to life and start creating the way I’ve always wanted.

This isn’t just a camera. It’s a tool for passion, storytelling, and growth. And now, the real journey begins.