Why Don't People Criticize My Opinions?
Agreement is cheap. The people who challenge you are the ones worth keeping.
One thing I've been thinking about lately is why people rarely criticize my opinions.
And no, this isn't one of those posts where I say, "Maybe I'm just too smart."
Actually, the opposite.
Sometimes I wonder if people don't criticize my ideas because they don't care enough to.
I can sit down with someone and tell them the biggest, most ridiculous vision I have in my head.
I'll talk about changing systems.
Agriculture.
Startups.
Politics.
Influence.
The future of the Philippines.
Sometimes I connect ideas that don't even seem related.
And most of the time?
People just listen.
They don't tell me I'm stupid.
They don't tell me I'm crazy.
They don't tell me it won't work.
They just nod.
And honestly, I don't know what that means.
For a long time I thought it meant my ideas were good.
Now I'm not so sure.
Maybe they trust me.
Maybe they don't understand enough about the topic to challenge it.
Maybe they don't want conflict.
Maybe they think I've already made up my mind.
Or maybe they simply don't care enough to spend energy disagreeing.
Who knows.
The Books Said They'd Laugh
One thing that confuses me is that a lot of books talk about how people will laugh at your dreams.
They'll tell you to stay realistic.
They'll try to pull you down.
Maybe that's true.
But personally, I haven't experienced much of it.
Most people around me are either supportive or neutral.
Sometimes I leave conversations wondering:
"Do they actually agree with me?"
Or are they just waiting for me to stop talking?
Agreement Is Cheap
As I get older, I'm realizing that agreement is cheap.
Someone saying:
"That's a good idea."
"Nice."
"Go for it."
Doesn't really tell me anything.
The valuable people are the ones who say:
"That won't work."
"You missed something."
"Your assumption is wrong."
"Have you considered this?"
Those are the people who make me think.
Those are the people who force me to improve.
I Actually Enjoy Criticism
I don't actually hate criticism.
I think I enjoy it.
Not because I enjoy arguments.
I enjoy stress-testing ideas.
If someone finds a flaw, good.
Now I know where to improve.
If they don't find one, then maybe the idea survives another round.
Either way, I learn something.
That's why I don't really understand yes-men.
What's the point of surrounding yourself with people who agree with everything?
That's not support.
That's comfort.
And comfort can be dangerous.
Sometimes comfort keeps us from seeing obvious flaws.
Find People Who Can Break Your Ideas
Lately I've been thinking that maybe I shouldn't look for people who believe in my vision.
Maybe I should look for people who can break it.
People smart enough to challenge it.
People willing to tell me when I'm wrong.
People who aren't impressed by big ideas and instead ask difficult questions.
Because reality won't care about my confidence.
Reality won't care how passionate I am.
So I'd rather have people expose those weaknesses now while the cost of being wrong is still small.
Maybe that's why criticism feels valuable to me.
Not because criticism is pleasant.
But because criticism is useful.
And useful is far more important than comfortable.
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If you have any questions or feedback about this article feel free to email me here. Have a great day!More on THOUGHTS
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