Jowa Advice

Two Perspectives That Gave Me Clarity

I recently got relationship advice from two people I truly respect — Steven and Edgar — and even though their words weren’t exactly what I wanted to hear, they gave me something even better: perspective.

Steven told me that what worked for him might not work for everyone else. His story was kind of a one-shot deal — he met his now-wife in high school, and things just clicked. But he was clear that love can’t be one-sided. It takes effort from both people.

He said something that stuck with me: sparks do happen at the start, but the real test comes when those sparks fade. That’s when you decide if this person is really for you — when it becomes a conscious choice to love them, day in and day out. He also emphasized avoiding harsh fights because they’re toxic in the long run.

Even though Steven didn’t give me the answer I was hoping for, he gave me hope. A glimpse into his relationship — from high school sweethearts to a solid marriage in their late 20s — was more meaningful than any advice I could’ve asked for.

Then there’s Edgar. His current relationship is his first, and he’s also his girlfriend’s first. Honestly, that’s super cute. He shared that all it took to start was a simple message: “Merry Christmas.” That tiny move led to something real, especially since they’re in the same field and have so much in common.

I opened up to both of them about this girl I recently met — someone I found really interesting. But if I’m being honest, I was lowkey just looking for some kind of sign. Some confirmation that this is the one I should go for. I realized I’ve been waiting for a “yes” from God… but so far, the signs haven’t been clear.

Maybe what I feel is just admiration. I’m still figuring that out. I do know this: I genuinely like her personality — like, 100%. Her physical appearance? Maybe 35%. But that personality is something rare.

For now, I’m sitting with these thoughts and trusting that whatever’s meant for me will come — whether through sparks, subtle signs, or even just a “Merry Christmas” message.