When My Laptop Hit the Rocks

Today, I dropped my laptop from about three feet onto a rocky road.

I opened the door of our Ruscar , and somehow my bag decided to regurgitate my laptop.

Boom.

One loud crashing sound.

For a split second, I looked at it.

Then I realized something surprising.

I wasn't nervous.

I didn't panic.

I didn't get angry.

I simply picked it up and checked the damage.

That moment made me realize that I've finally verified something I've been trying to practice for years.

I'm becoming detached from material things.

My first thought wasn't,

It was,

Because that's what actually matters to me.

The laptop is simply a tool.

The scratches don't stop me from writing.

They don't stop me from editing.

They don't stop me from building things.

As long as the inside still works, the outside doesn't bother me much.

One thing that probably helped was a small ritual I started years ago.

I intentionally wrote on the back of my laptop with a permanent marker.

At first, it sounded crazy.

Why would someone intentionally ruin the clean look of an expensive laptop?

Because I wanted to break my attachment to keeping it aesthetically perfect.

The moment I accepted that it would never look brand new forever, I noticed my anxiety around scratches slowly disappeared.

Today proved that the ritual worked.

I'm not sharing this because I'm proud that I damaged my laptop.

I'm sharing it because I'm grateful that my reaction changed.

Years ago, I probably would have been anxious for the rest of the day.

Today, I just smiled, checked if everything worked, and continued with my day.

The laptop survived.

It now carries a few more scratches from the rocks.

A few more battle scars.

A little bit of accidental kintsugi.

And honestly...

I think that's okay.

Things are meant to be used.

Not worshipped.

Wrote this using my well-worn, still reliable laptop.